can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
