man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
