FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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