I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
