I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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