It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
