How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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