what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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