I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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