I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
