I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
