I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
