she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
