do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
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