I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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