There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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