My pussy is not your playground.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
