Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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