Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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