The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Porn is love you can see.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
