The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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