just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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