Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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