so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
