I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Randomize
