So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
