Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
