she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
