return my video game
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
