After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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