He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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