just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
