why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
