the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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