Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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