we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
