i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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