I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
