I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
