i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I don't think brook has ever known best
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
