I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
