you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
