Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
