He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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