If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
last night I used snow as a chaser
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
