I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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