I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
