I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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