how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
