Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
