some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
